Black Snake

You must be mad to keep a venomous snake for a pet! But why?

“And that was the first time I saw my dad hit my mum.” She raised her eyes from under pencil-thin brows and moisture was welling in the corners.

He nodded. “What did you do?”

She sighed and sat straighter on her stool. “I couldn’t do anything. I was seven.” She ran a hand through her blond waves and looked out the window to the dry landscape beyond. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be telling you all this. Especially since we just met.” An awkward chuckle escaped from her lips that were still bright pink around the perimeter, but the rest had slowly been absorbed into the sauvignon blanc.

“Would you rather talk about something else?” He kept his voice low and slid his thumb and middle finger down the edge of a cardboard coaster before turning it 90 degrees and repeating the action.

“I don’t know. It was so long ago, I haven’t thought about it for ages,” she said. 

His head dropped to one side and he kept focus on her. “Of course. It can’t be easy.”

Their eyes connected and held.

Eventually, hers dropped back to her hands on the bar. “You’re a really good listener,” she said.

He smiled, “You’ve got a lot to say.”

There was a pause as their heads moved slowly into the space that separated them. 

She pulled away at the last moment. “I need the dunny.”

“Sure.” He shot her a warm smile.

He waited for her at the exit to the country pub. It was a relief to leave the flashing lights of televised horse races and football games behind and step into the warm air. He let his arm brush against hers as they walked and she talked. 

“And Donna took credit for the email, even though Evan wrote it, which I didn’t think was fair, so I told Pete…”

“What did he say?” he asked.

She paused when they reached his off-white SUV, looking down and pushing her hair behind her ear. 

“Do you need a ride?” he asked.

He could see the lone streetlight on the corner of the carpark reflected in her brown eyes as she gazed up at him. “Um. Maybe. My car’s just over there, but I’ve had a couple of wines.”

Gently, he placed a hand where her jaw met her neck and brought her face closer to his.

Just as their lips came close enough that he could taste the fermented grapes on her breath, she stiffened and pulled back, her eyes wide.

“Ryan!” she said in a strangled cry. “There’s a— It’s a— On the bonnet of your—” She was physically stumbling backwards.

He turned to see the brown-black coil of a slumbering reptile. 

Sighing, he stepped towards it. “Oh, don’t worry. That’s just Blackie. She’s been there since we stopped. Come on, girl.”

The drowsy creature looked up and then obligingly slithered up his outstretched arm to rest around his neck.

The girl was still backing away, her arms raised in front and her mouth gaping. “Oh. Wow. Your pet?” 

“Yeah, she’s friendly. Come see.” He stepped closer and took her hand in his. 

“Is it…” She jumped slightly as her fingers met scales. “Toxic? I mean, what do you say? Venomous?”

He nodded. “Highly.”

She pulled her hand back like she’d been bitten, and the snake shifted lazily on Ryan’s arm, causing a ripple.

“I’ve had her since she was a baby. Watch this.” He held both arms out horizontally and made a clicking sound with his mouth, at which the snake spiraled one way and then the other, before slithering all the way to his left hand and curling into a tight ball that resembled a boxing glove. Ryan emitted a short whistle and the whole thing launched downward, stretching out its entire length as it did so. He kept a grip on its tail and just before its head hit the ground, he gave a tug and it swung back up to drape lazily over the opposite forearm.

“Good girl,” he murmured, and grinned into the wide eyes of his new acquaintance.

“Holy shit,” she said, “Do you perform with it? Are you some kind of… snake magician?”

He stopped still, his hand motionless on Blackie’s head, staring off in the distance.

She took a step towards him. “I gotta say…” She eyed the snake warily and moved closer to his opposite shoulder. “That’s quite impressive.”

Slowly, his head rotated down and their eyes me. He blinked.

“I gotta go.”

“What?”

“Sorry. You just reminded me there’s somewhere I should be. I mean, someone I should see.”

“But… I thought…”

He planted a peck on her cheek and walked around to the driver’s side door. “Thanks for the convo. And drive safe!”

Hurriedly, he let the snake slide into the passenger seat, turned the key in the ignition, and put his foot down, leaving her standing with her mouth hanging open in the pub carpark. 

No sooner was he out of the tiny town, there were no more streetlights and the long, narrow stretch of bitumen was lit up only by the carpet of stars overhead and his high beams that illuminated reflectors at the top of white poles every few metres.

Blackie continued her slumber, occasionally turning on herself and tightening her coil. 

By the time the eastern sky began to show signs of brightening and the first arrows of sunlight pierced the horizon, his eyelids had gained significant weight.

He pulled into a servo and filled the tank before turning off onto a rocky track.

It was another three hours of tough driving that made him glad the car was powered through all four wheels before he pulled into a tiny community. He parked on the side of a red dirt road and reached into the bag strapped to the side of his seat to pull out a dead mouse. 

“You’re a good girl, aren’t you?” He stroked Blackie and placed her breakfast beside her before crawling to the bed in the back and pulling the blanket over him to sleep.

He was woken by a tapping on the window, immediately followed by an awareness of unbearable heat.

Pulling the homemade curtain to one side, his dusty eyes crinkled in a smile.

He dragged himself out the back door and dropped onto the rocky ground in his socks. It felt comparatively cool despite the midday heat, and the thick layer of sweat on his neck began to evaporate.

“Hey Ryan, long time no see.”

“Jess, how you been?”

Despite looking happy enough to see him, there was no warm embrace, and she couldn’t hide the wariness in her charcoal eyes. 

“I’ve been good,” she said. “Not much changes up here.”

“And the mob?” The air on the deserted street shimmered in the midday sun.

“Mob’s good,” she said. “You can’t be sleeping here. No shade, you’ll cook.”

“You’re right about that,” he conceded. “Come for a drive?”

She looked from side to side, as if expecting someone to come and stop her, before letting out a long sigh. “Righto.”

Blackie was out of sight and she lowered herself into the passenger side. 

“So, what’s news?” she asked, leaning her forehead on the glass and letting her eyes spring back and forth as the arid landscape flew by. “Still homeless?”

“Yep,” he said. “Just the way I like it. Spent some time in Alice, helping on a build. What about you? Teaching?”

“Not as much,” she said. “Bit of admin. Lots of looking after mum and aunties. Tell me about the build.”

He glanced sideways at her springy hair that bounced as the car hit pot holes. 

“Your mum still recognise you though?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Ry.”

“OK.” 

He let a few kilometres go by, noting the salty smell coming through the air inlets grow stronger. 

“What about your brothers?”

“Don’t try to trap me,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

She shifted her weight. “Nothing. Just… what do you want, Ry?”

The white sands of the northern beach glistened and he drove straight onto them, covering a few more k’s before pulling to a stop. 

He rushed to pull some cheese and crackers out of the mini fridge before catching up to where she was stomping over to a shady spot. “Did you ever think that maybe I’m genuinely interested?”

“Ha,” she said. “If that was the case, you’d call once in a while. You’d check in when you know Mum’s been in the hospital. Or Auntie June…” Her words caught in her throat. “Fuck, it’s hot.”

She peeled off her Guns ‘N’ Roses t-shirt to reveal a grey cotton bra. Her round, dark tummy shook a little as she wriggled out of her cutoff jeans and began walking towards the water which made a light, splashing sound as the gentle waves hit the shore.

“You’re going in?” he asked, unable to mask his surprise.

“Why not?” She wore a smirk now.

“It’s box jellyfish season, isn’t it?”

She raised her eyebrows back at him but didn’t break stride. “Do you know the probability of bumping into one?”

“Sure,” he said, slipping his own jeans and t-shirt off and leaving them in a pile next to hers with the food on top. “But they have long tendrils and if you touch one…”

“It’s near instant-death.” Her toes were in the shallows. “Extremely painful too. Ah, that feels good,” she said, dragging her calves through to deeper water.

“And what about the salties?” He followed, not bothering to look for the tiny, near-transparent medusas, but scouring the coastline despite himself, in case a croc had spotted them before they saw it. Knowing he couldn’t stop her, he copied her duck dive and came up for air, shaking the hair from his eyes with a quick head jerk and turning to face Jess, who was treading water.

“I was really sorry to hear about June,” he said. “I was just busy and the days got away.”

She nodded. “It’s OK. You don’t owe me anything. I got my man n’ me kids. Life is good.”

“That’s good,” he said. “You look good. Happy.”

“I am,” she said. “It’s a simple life, but it’s a good one.”

“What’s the best thing has happened this year?”

“Don’t start with me,” she laughed, and leaned forward to duck his head under the tepid waves. He let himself be immersed and came up close enough that their legs touched as they paddled under the surface and their faces aligned.

“What do you mean?” he said. 

“I know what you want,” she said softly.

“Do you now?” He shifted forward slightly.

“No, I…” She exhaled as his hand found her waist. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” She was whispering.

“I’m not suggesting a thing.” He was speaking directly into her ear, the volume just above that of the moving water.

“Ahh!” Her scream pierced the silent air, then suddenly cut off as her head disappeared under the water.

“Jess?” he cried. “Jess! Where are you?”

He was still frantically splashing when she emerged metres away, laughing hysterically and swimming for the shore. “Gotcha!” she cried, spinning around onto her back.

“You bitch,” he laughed, turning to follow her.

She let him chase her up the sand and he wrestled her to the ground, rolling over and over until they came to a stop near their piles of clothes.

“Ryan, no.”

He let his hair drip salt water onto her face. “You sure?”

Her face told him the answer and he crawled off her. 

She stretched and let her head roll back and up and as she did, she froze. 

“Is that…” 

“Yes, don’t worry.” Blackie was slithering towards them. The smooth-scaled creature paused briefly within striking distance.

Jess’ breathing had grown longer. “She’s grown.”

“Yeah, she does that. Do you want me to move her away?”

She shook her head but remained motionless as the snake slid around her jawline and up the smooth curve of her shoulder. She almost ceased breathing but for a few tiny shudders while Blackie moved down the space between her breasts and continued across her stomach. The snake paused a few seconds and opened its mouth, revealing two razor-sharp fangs. Jess looked at Ryan’s face. His jaw was clenched. It closed its mouth and continued its passage, leaving her body and moving towards an exposed rock a few feet away.

When its tail had left her skin, Jess visibly relaxed and pushed up onto her elbows, panting. “Why do you keep that bloody thing?”

Ryan looked from the snake to his old friend, then took a deep breath. “That’s one of the reasons I came back, actually. I want to show you what we can do now. See if you want in.”

“What do you mean?”

“Check this out.”

He stood, sand crumbling off his skin that was mostly dry already in the afternoon sun. Reaching down, he put a hand next to the snake’s face and tapped the rock twice. She immediately pushed the front part of her body high in a vertical line, before wrapping herself around his naked arm and spiraling up and over his shoulder. He placed the other hand in a waiting position and held her just below her head until she let her body hang loose. He lowered himself enough that her lower third touched the ground, then held her at a 45 degree angle for a moment before releasing. The snake tensed its muscles enough to bounce back almost as high, but not before Ryan had performed a 360 turn and returned in time to gently catch her.

Jess’ eyes were wide. “You trained a snake?”

He was grinning as he placed a piece of cheese next to Blackie on the rock and came back to sit in the shade.

“So, what do you think?”

“I think it’s amazing,” she said. “You can make a fortune with that.”

“I reckon I could, yeah. But…” He met her eyes with his. “I could use a partner.”

She dropped her head sideways and closed her eyes. “Ryan. It’s been years.”

“You could get back in shape. Come on, you were incredible back in the day!”

“I was, wasn’t I?” she sighed, then turned to him sternly. “I see what this is all about now. The flattery and the listening ears. I knew you wanted something,”

“It’s not like—”

“It is, and it’s fine. I know you, Ryan Callahan, and you can’t trick me anymore. I’m a mother now. And a wife. I can’t just go on the road with you and a poisonous snake.”

“It would only be a few weeks at a time. We could go around like the old days. But with Blackie now.”

“With Blackie.” She looked over at the creature, innocently resting in the sunshine.

“Just say you’ll think about it.”

She took a deep breath and sighed, before reaching for a cracker. “Bloody hell.”

He grinned.

On the drive back, Jess was more chatty. “It wouldn’t bother me so much if you had a python, you know? But that thing,” she pointed her head back over her shoulder. “It’s a bloody taipan.”

He nodded.

“Literally the most dangerous snake in the world.”

“Only by toxicity,” he countered. “Not by demeanour.”

“What, so the fact that it doesn’t like biting negates the tiny issue that a bite could kill a hundred grown men?”

“Of course. It’s only dangerous if it bites. And she wouldn’t.”

“Until she does.”

He chuckled. “Says the woman who swims with box jellyfish.”

“Exactly,” she said. “It’s a question of risk and reward. I know the jellyfish are well distanced and the likelihood of touching one is very low. Same with the saltwater crocodiles. I can see them coming. But that snake is always here. What if you accidentally step on her? Or I do? Or God forbid, a punter. Chances of that must be at least 10-20%.”

“So, pretty low, you admit it?”

“Too high. If every time I got on a plane, my chances of crashing were 20%...”

“No, you’re wrong. If it was that high, one in every ten times I went near her, she’d bite me, but I’m always around, and she never has.”

“It doesn’t work that way. Each time someone goes near her, the odds change. Things like her mood, their fear, the ambient noise, you can’t predict what might happen.”

“People love being afraid of things they don’t understand. You just have to pay attention. Same as if you cross the street or walk along a clifftop.”

“Except a clifftop doesn’t have a mind of its own,” she said. “And it doesn’t grow bigger and stronger the more you feed it.”

He rolled his eyes and pulled into her driveway.

“You’ve gotta admit,” he said, turning to face her. “It’s impressive.”

She licked her teeth and swallowed. “Of course. But I’m not the woman I used to be. I have commitments now.” She reached for the door handle.

“Jess. You’re the only one that can do this.” His hand was on her thigh. “We had some good times, didn’t we?” 

“Sure, but this is different. You must see that, Ryan.” 

As if on cue, the fly screen on the front of the house swung open and a large man with curly black hair and skin the colour of milk chocolate emerged.

Jess and Ryan both got out of the car and faced him. She moved quickly to his side.

“Ryan,” he said, nodding slightly.

“Dave,” replied Ryan, mirroring the movement.

“What brings you this far north?” 

Ryan stood straighter, holding his weight evenly on two feet. “Just in the neighbourhood.”

“Been for a drive, have you?” Dave looked down at his wife, who nodded.

“Old times’ sake,” she said.

“I see you still got that pet of yours,” he said, eyeing the man next to the SUV, who now had a snake creeping up one arm.

“I do.”

“You always were good with the critters,” said Dave.

“They can do us a lot of good, if we can learn to trust them.”

The door behind the couple opened and three children of varying ages stepped onto the dusty ground. “Mum, you’re back. Grandma’s been asking for you,” said the oldest one.

“OK, thanks sweetie,” said Jess, but she stayed beside her husband.

“Who’s your friend?” The girl who looked in her early teens had paler skin than her little brother and sister, and her hair shone with a few golden strands in the waning sunlight. “Oh, you’ve got a…what is that? A red-belly black?”

She skipped across the distance between them and stood next to Ryan to run the back of her finger across the dry, scaled skin.

“No, an inland taipan.”

“Wow, I never saw one of them before,” she said.

“He’s trained it to do tricks,” said Jess.

“That so?” said Dave. “He wants you to do some tricks again too then, is it? Get the band back together?”

She moved her whole head forwards. “Yeah, it’s not bad, I seen it just now up at the beach. People’d pay, and if we put it with some of our old set.”

Ryan was wearing a soft smile. “You’d have more money to support your mum. Get her a proper nurse and fly her to Darwin for treatment.”

“Go on, Mum, it sounds deadly!” said the oldest daughter, still stroking the reptile’s body. “Can I come too?”

“No way,” said her father. “It is deadly, and not in the way you mean.”

“It’s too dangerous, Bethany,” said Jess. “Come away now, please.”

“What do you mean?” Ryan stepped forward and Jess flinched slightly at the sight of her daughter allowing the snake to move its head to her shoulder. “You said yourself the odds are low. And the benefits are high,” he said. “I’ve known this snake since she was a tiny baby nearly dead on the side of the road. She’d never hurt anyone. She’s been raised to know people are her friends.”

“But she’s not a machine, Ry,” said Jess quietly. “She’s can make decisions and we can’t always understand her choices. If one day she gets scared or confused, she could…”

Bethany giggled as the serpent’s tongue flicked her neck.

“She wouldn’t,” insisted Ryan.

“Could we milk her first?” asked Jess. “Get rid of the venom?” She was reaching a hand out, coaxing her daughter back to her side.

Bethany responded. “Na, I’ve read about these. They can strike over and over and inject poison every time.” The snake was moving in the space between her hair and her neck. Jess’ hand dropped to her side.

“Come on back here,” said Dave, stepping forward and gripping his daughter’s upper arm, but she resisted, letting the creature move entirely onto her. 

“I’d go even if Mum can’t. What a great show!” She ran her hand down Blackie’s back.

“No,” said Jess, emphatically. “There’s no room for error. If there’s one mistake, it’s all over. That’s unacceptable.”

“Take your snake back,” said Dave, releasing Bethany’s arm and moving a few steps back.

“It’s never been done before.” Ryan leaned on the bonnet of his car, his eyes trained on Jess, who looked from him to Bethany and back again. “It’ll be great, I’m telling you. I know this snake. She wants the best for us.”

“You shouldn’t even be allowed to get around with it like that.” Dave’s tone went up a notch. “Our answer is no, and I’d appreciate it if you put it back in the car before I kill the bloody thing.”

He stepped forward but paused when Blackie raised her head and hissed. Bethany shushed and gripped it beneath its flat, narrow head.

“Come on, mate, be reasonable,” said Ryan.

“Maybe I should just call the cops. They’ll tell us what’s legal and what’s not here. There must be regulations about this kind of thing.”

“There’s not,” said Ryan. “No one’s ever trained a snake before. It’s a bit like a brand new technology.”

They all stood staring at one another as the day rapidly turned to night around them.

Now: Choose your own adventure.

Now, consider that Ryan and Jess represent humanity, and the snake represents AI. Would you still make the same choice?

Image credit: By XLerate, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=2698803