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Paul Walker's avatar

This comes across to me as a bit of a non sequitur, but somehow reads better for me than the previous sections. Maybe it’s the transitioning between the game environment and reality (which came as a bit of a surprise as I read it), or it might be something else. But I found the tension arising from the fight scene rather nicely set up the more prosaic description of the ship and its features. By themselves, they might have been a bit ho-hum so the order there worked for me.

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Shoni's avatar

It's a story that jumps around in time and space. I need to get back to it - thanks for reading and responding, it really means a lot!

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Jacqueline Hope's avatar

Is that it? Are we only up to chapter 2, part 1?

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Shoni's avatar

Yep. It's coming. Just slowly...

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Claudia Befu's avatar

Looking forward to the next chapters.

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Shoni's avatar

Thanks Claudia. Me too.

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